Fenrir

GENERAL APPEARANCE. Fenrir's coat is a golden tan color coated in a grizzled black across his neck, fading into and inkiest black on his back. Light tan stripes running vertically behind his front legs through the black contrast greatly. Muzzle wrapped in chocolate and heavy black markings. His rather large ears are covered in a darker, redder version of the golden tan. The tips tend to almost touch when alert. All of his coloring looks as though it has been enhanced.

A beige colors his underbelly and underneath of his black tipped tail. His eyes are a warm red brown color, around his pupil is a golden brown color, looking as though something tried to claw it's way out but fell into the abyss anyway. Both wrapped in black as if he's wearing eyeliner.

He is heavily built and with as much training as he has put in, is extremely muscular. Even through his thick coat, defined lines can be seen. He has the basic German Shepherd short back legs. Standing 24 inches at his shoulders and 27 inches from chest to tail. Weighing in at around 85 lbs. He does have a scar trailing down his left shoulder blade from a stab wound.

He has a choker chain that hangs loosely from his thickly furred neck. On one of the rings, his military dog tags have been attached. On the front of the tag 'Fenrir' is engraved into the silver metal. He is very protective over them.

PERSONALITY. Fenrir is a very quiet individual who tends to believe he is not good enough. He fears messing up. He feels as though he is not wanted most of the time due to be left while his siblings were sold as a pup. Generally feeling like no one wants him while doing everything in his power to make himself acceptable in the eyes of another. He is always looking to please but, always seems to find himself by himself due to his own insecurities. Losing his human only furthered his thought that he is a failure. Usually feeling worthless means he has a need to feel accepted, like he has some sort of impact on somebody.

He usually stays to himself. Part of that 'I'm not good enough. No one wants me.' mentality. Most take his quiet nature to heart and feel as though he is either ignoring them or just being a jerk. This is not the case. He is just afraid of saying the wrong thing or stepping on someone's toes. He dislikes confrontation and the easiest way to stay away from that is to just stay by himself. Watching the war first hand, or paw, has turned him away from fighting but, if the situation arose, he has more than enough training in his background to defend himself.

If you do happen to get him to talk to you, he is an overall sweetheart. He will do anything to see another happy. He cares about everything way more than he should and will protect anyone who needs it. He will always stand up for the weak but, will never ask for help or anything in return. He is only there to make sure everyone else is alright. He doesn't like sympathy from anyone and doesn't like feeling like he owes someone, so he does without repayment. With his dislike of sympathy means that if he talks to you about his war days, he doesn't want your apologies. He might not have had a choice going in but, he had a choice to learn and cooperate and defend as best as he could. He believes there is no reason for someone who did nothing to him to apologize. But pretty much no one ever gets to hear stories about those days.

He has claustrophobia from when he was shipped from Germany to America. His time in the dark crate created a fear of tight places or feeling trapped. He has random nightmares that sometime keep him from sleeping for days. His nightmares generally consist of flashbacks to his war days.

All in all, he is a noble, genuine, gentleman-like creature.

HISTORY. I remember the lights. Searing, white hot lights. The first thing my eyes saw when they cracked open.

Born to a renowned breeder in Germany, all pups were closely looked after. All were monitored day and night and given the best care possible. They were little bundles of money and it was always seen to that that money was never lost. Fenrir always seemed off, staying away from the rest of the litter. He did become pick of the litter though. Which landed him an expensive price tag that even most breeders couldn't afford.

At the age of 3 months, all but one of his siblings were gone. Humans had come, looked them over, and taken them. The only pup left besides himself was a small, darkly marked pup that just seemed to get lankier everyday. The two set and waited together, wondering why the others were gone, why they were the only two left for what seemed like an eternity. Fenrir assumed it was because no one wanted him. Everyone had come and picked the best they could find out of the litter. They had left the runt and him. Why else would they pass him up?

I remember her touch. How desperately I wanted it to stay forever.

Another couple weeks past and Fenrir still set, waiting, wondering why. His last sibling was gone now, sold off to a small family that just wanted a house pet. It seemed that no one would take him out of here. No one wanted him in his mind. Everyone was gone now. He had been separated from his mother and placed in a kennel next to another male.

Finally, at 4 months old, a woman appeared. She had heard about the pup and was considering adding him to her group of dogs. His eyes met her's and he knew immediately, she was it. He would be leaving today. She came in, picked him up, held him out in front of her. A smile on her face while she looked the bulky 4 month old over. The pup's eyes locked on her's. She agreed to take him home with her. And so set the journey to America.

Then the light was gone and there was nothing but darkness. Suffocating, consuming darkness.

He was shipped to the United States. One of the scariest experiences in his life. His trip has caused his claustrophobia. But when he was finally removed from the crate and he saw her, all in his life was right again. But just as quickly as she was there, she was gone again and he was placed in the hands of a trainer. One month later, he was transferred to another set of hands. A man who became his partner. Fenrir trained daily with him. Working on basic commands, hand signals, voice commands, obstacles and such. He had no idea why exactly they were doing what they were doing but, was more than happy to know that he was pleasing someone. That someone wanted him around, feeling more of a connection with this human than he ever did with any canine. And then he got them. A set of dog tags with his name engraved in the metal, hanging from his neck.

He was placed in a kennel with a few other dogs being trained. Weekly, dogs disappeared and new dogs came in. They would be in there long enough for Fen to become acquainted with them before they disappeared. This is where he met Roza. In these kennels. She had apparently been there to meet up with another working dog. Fenrir had never really paid attention to the others, only his human companion, and therefore, had never seen her. Something about her was striking. Something that drew you in and wouldn't let go. And he was fine with his claustrophobia as long as she was the one who was going to hold him by the throat. He couldn't help himself. Against his usual nature, he claimed her as his own. She seemed not to mind in the least.

And we were sent away. Placed in a foreign land that seemed desperate to tear us apart.

He awoke the next day, and she was gone. His human and him were packing up to be shipped off to another state to live on a military base and where training would continue. He still wasn't sure why he was doing what he was doing. He did know that he would follow his boy through fire if it called for it. He took care of Fenrir, showed him affection. Fenrir vowed to himself to protect him at all costs. But with the move, he lost contact with Roza and had no clue of the pups that would be on the way.

The two were stationed at a base in the middle of battle, sent out to do random tasks for the first 6 months they were there. The war had really started by this point and Fenrir had picked up on his human's alert nature everytime they went out now. He emulated the boy's disposition as best as he could. He focused on the hand signals he had been taught a year ago. The occassional fight broke out between his human and random civilians who opposed them. Fenrir was always there. Whether it be to simply growl or actually lay teeth on the offender, it was nothing he couldn't handle. Nothing he wasn't willing to do.

When the war really started taking a turn for the worst, Fenrir and his human were moved to another base. Fenrir was two and a half at the time and had been deemed one of the more competent military working dogs. The two moved up in the ranks and began being sent on more intense tasks.

And when I lost you, my world was crushed. Everything I ever knew was shattered. I am destroyed.

The pair was sent out one day and were instructed to clear a house for a group that would be coming in. Upon entering the house, the team was ambushed. Fenrir did his best to protect his human, his partner, his team mate. He defended him against the group trying to harm them. In the process, one offender pulled a knife. Bringing it down, the weapon stabbed into Fenrir's should muscle as he tried to dodge away, ripping it down through the tissue, creating the scar on him.

Even with all of his background training. Even with as much as he cared for his human. Even though he vowed to protect him at all costs, he was lost. He remembers going to the body and nudging it. Motionless. And the the rough jerk of his choker chain as someone pulled him back. Suffocating him. He remembers staring the enemy down, eye to eye as he fought for breath. His claustrophobia getting to him. He received a fist to the face and then nothing but black.

I awoke to no one. I tried my best and it was never good enough. It would never be good enough.

He woke to darkness. He got himself up, dried blood covering his limb. All he could do was search for his human. Make sure he was ok. But upon finding him, he was in the same position as when Fenrir had been knocked out. Again, he nudged the body with no response. He remembers curling up to the deceased body. Laying his head in the crook of his shoulder, back to his torso and eyes locked on the door. He had lost everything. Everything near and dear to him. And he blamed himself for all of it.

A search team had found them. Fenrir refused to move from his human's side. And for the second time that day, his choker chain was pulled on to force him away from the body. He struggled with his phobia while struggling against the person trying to keep him away but, to no avail. He was returned to base, his wounds assessed, and shipped back to America. His trip filled with fright again. Upon arriving, he was looked over again, making sure there was no permanent damage to him. And soon, another human was given to him. But his morale was lesser. As much as he wanted to please his new partner, he just didn't have the enthusiasm he once did and was soon retired.

I remember that it was all my fault. I remember that I should have tried harder.

He was placed in a retired military dog's kennel where he was taken care of daily. Did nothing but play in a yard with other battered and beaten dogs. They had tried to remove his choker and tags but, he had refused to let them touch them. The only time he had ever been aggressive to someone who wasn't trying to harm him.

And then the world started coming to an end. Everyday you could tell a difference. And slowly, no one came in to run the kennel anymore. A day with no food. Not a big deal to dogs who were used to having to scrounge. But days went by and no one ever returned. Fenrir set in his kennel. Watching the outside world crumble. Finally, he decided enough was enough. Hooking his front teeth in the chainlink and tugging repeatedly until it popped. And then on to the next one. He created a hole big enough for his muscled body to escape and has been off on his own since. Fenrir doesn't really like talking about all the fighting and tends to shy away from the stories.

And now I'll walk this world alone.